Dear friends!Just got back from the hospital and saw something which in a way has made me feel ashamed of the limits of insensitive and indifferent attitude our generation manifests towards the parents who helped us be what we are today. An ex IFS officer whom every one knew as one man of principles discipline and courage ,ran across the corridors of the hospital to make his old wife comfortable. His wife, whom we fondly address as Aunty ji, was paralyzed a long back and has not seen the world outside her room since almost 7 years now , this is after she lost her ability to walk. They have a son, now settled in USA, and of all I know him, is a wise young gentleman. But it felt good as Aunty ji smiled seeing us sitting by her side and sponge her. I appreciate the fact that everybody has reasons to go offshore and earn a living but one just can not shun away the responsibility of taking care of parents on the pretext of work.We all talk about advancement and crap but what I feel is despite all this if you guys can’t rationale out on the emotional aspects of what responsibilities you have towards your aging parents you are practically worth nothing and you all got to be ashamed of your existence if you are so insensitive and ruthless. This Aunty has cancer and she may not live more than a year or so, but both of them are fighting it out so well, they had done their best to see that that stupid moron got placed well only to find him so damn busy .Just want to request all of you around guys , please don’t even dare to think on such lines, parents should and must be cared for because that’s exactly they did that for us.These days elderly are seen, more often than not, as burdens rather than blessings. We are quick to forget the sacrifices are parents made for us when they are in need of care themselves. Instead of taking them into our homes, we put them in retirement communities or nursing homes, many times against their will. We do not value the wisdom they have acquired through living long lives, and we discredit their advice as “outdated.” Just to put it in simple words when we honor and care for our parents, we are serving God as wellRegardless of the circumstances, we still have obligations to our parents. If they are in need of financial assistance, we should help them. If they are sick, we should take care of them.. And if they are under the care of a nursing facility, we need to assess the living conditions to make sure they are being properly and lovingly cared for.We should never allow the cares of the world to overshadow the things that are most important, whats more important than your parents damn it.Very few parents, I suspect, actually sit down with their grown children and talk about what’s going to become of them when they get old and infirm. Very few children are willing to face, much less force, the issue with their parents or their siblings. And not simply because they fear being thought insensitive. What we fear goes much deeper. Parents – mothers especially – are the oldest things we know about the world. They are an archetypal necessity in the structure of our universe. When they begin to weaken, we feel the foundations tremble. Faced with our parents’ inevitable decline and mortality, we must choose then between causing pain by broaching unpleasant realities or conspiring in the dangerous illusion that everyone maintains good mental and physical health until the moment we draw our last breath.But making the hard choice gets even more complicated if we must take into account the wishes and fears of our parents as well. Finances, geographical distance, accrued family history, spouses, and jobs must all be factored into decisions. And for the child who volunteers or is elected as the care agent, always and at bottom lies the daunting prospect of an open-ended commitment that could last for decades. The care of an ill and elderly parent could rob them of their last chance at personal freedom hell with such stupid thoughts and people with the similar regime.On the other hand, we may remember how our grandparents were cared for within the extended family. Perhaps we’ve seen our own mothers take on this responsibility. Don’t we owe them the same consideration? If they could do it, why shouldn’t we?Independence. Autonomy. Isolation. . But if you live long enough, independence inevitably becomes an illusion. still have many questions and quandries about the future – my parents’ and my own.We are all, throughout our lives, a burden to others. From the moment of conception, we are nourished and nurtured by others. As adults we learn to pay for or negotiate our mutual needs, but the fact remains that it takes an invisible army of other people to grow our food, clean our clothes, etc. When we marry, we accept another’s pledge to stick with us in sickness and health, prosperity and poverty. The load we lay on others only becomes more visible, less deniable, as we age. We simply aren’t much good at either bearing or being burdens.Our relatively new culture, which makes both living anywhere and living longer possible, will no doubt devote a good deal of public resources and private energy in the near future to eldercare. Please learn to care.Lets pledge to be good to the Parents because they for sure are God’s best gift .
Loads of love
Nidhi
